Oct 8 2009 11:15 am

I swear to god, if you say brownlining one more time, it's over

Ask yourself this: When you last went fishing, did you bust your ass running through the private property as you made your way to the stream creek because you know that bitch is mean and has called the cops on you before and they towed your car even though it was obviously parked on a public right of way?  Did you smell the sewage treatment plant, or better yet, did you wade near it’s outflow because there is a 17” smallmouth that lives in there sometimes?  Did you observe the driftwood stacked high with styrofoam cups and shrouded in deflated kiddie pools?  Did you look for that weird fucking teddy bear that someone propped up at first hole probably just to scare the shit out of you?  Did you wet wade and risk the cancer?  Did you enjoy the herd of carp in bridge hole swimming back and forth refusing to eat your fly as much as you did the stupid fucking rock bass you keep catching?  When you spit your oily brown tobacco juices upon the water did you see the long eared sunfish dart towards the ring excitedly?  God those fish are dumb.  Did you love the way you tore your waders on the barbed wire fence as you bushwhacked down to the river from the second trestle below Fluck Mill?  We talk about how much the fishing sucks or how great it is.  I like to fish alone.  Who can’t skip a stone?  Jesus christ, I know it rhymed, but dude?  Do you find it difficult to scratch your balls through your waders?  Me too.

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