May 9 2012 3:43 pm

the river and the bar

The river looked like very strong tea. Sand plumes roiled over the steeper drop offs. The sky was sky blue. The sun was yellow. The wind blew hard sometimes and felt like wind. The boat went down the river just like a boat should.

The wind was blowing and I was in the bow fishing and then there was a loud but muffled clapping sound in the woods and I looked up thinking it was weird gunfire or maybe a turkey flying but then I noticed the big tree just in front of us on the left start to fall. Fred started back rowing and the tree crashed down not more than ten feet in front of us.

The guy was well dressed, and drunk. He took his tie off at some point during the evening and I only ever served him one drink directly. The bar was crowded like a crowded bar. Our faces were about a foot away from one another and we were both yelling like you do in a crowded bar with a loud band playing.

He was asking me to explain his bill. He was looking at the credit card slip. I asked him if he wanted an itemized receipt, but he asked me again to explain his bill. I said I didn’t know what he was talking about. He demanded that I explain his bill. I asked him if he wanted an itemized receipt again. He told me to not be a bitch. He had crazy eyes and he spit a little when he said bitch and then halfway sucked in his lower lip behind his front teeth after he said it, like some sort of weird challenge. He was drunk and had crazy person drunk eyes. He looked at me and said, “Don’t be such a fat bitch. You're a fat bitch.”

I punched him hard in the nose, really hard, and I knew quite distinctly that something cracked in his face. He fell backward into the crowd and slowly crumpled to the floor, at first to his knees and then, as people moved out of the way, he slumped backward awkwardly with his feet under his ass and his left shoulder on the floor. Blood was pouring from his nose and he was blowing bubbles in it with every sleeping breath. I know bartenders should never punch patrons, but I am an animal and the chemicals coursing through my body made me do it.


comments 32